We're All Watching a Different Sunset

Discussing G. Murray Thomas' Latest Book, Living the Sundown

Poems

The Day

The day his doctor told my father he shouldn't drive anymore
there were suddenly so many errands to run.
I ran into the mailbox,
and delivered his newspaper late.
There were so many errands to run
but snow piled deep in the driveway.
and the snowplow was late.
The mail never came.

The snow piled high against the walls.
My mother argued with her caregiver
and then read the same letter over and over.
The turkeys ran wild in the yard.
My mother argued with her caregiver
because she said she didn't need a caregiver
Later, they watched the turkeys run wild,
and the starlings battle at the bird feeder.
My mother said she didn't need her walker.
My father, mystified by the remote, missed his favorite show.
The bird feeder became a TV.
My mother almost fell down.

My father was mystified
that he couldn't drive anymore.
I fell asleep
and drove my car into a ditch.

Waiting Room

The silence is a forest of bare trees.
A grey sky hovers near the ceiling.
Through the glass,
     snow covers the car
     the deck
     the hillside.
Or is that just a memory?
There is no child to play in it,
only photographs —
    a couple skiing
    the hunt for a Christmas tree
    six-foot drifts from a blizzard.
There are so many photographs,
photo albums dominate the bookshelves,
     filled with people I no longer recognize.
The ghosts of those still present sit with me.
We wait for the bodies to arrive.

Intro

How do you deal with agining parents, especially when they have dementia? In this interview I talk with G. Murray Thomas about his latest book, Living the Sundown, a hybrid of prose and poetry about his experiences caring for his parents during their last years. Murray tells me how he started this project as a series of posts to friends from the Southern California poetry scene. With their encouragement he saw that the serries of missives could become a narrative-hybrid combined with his poems and haiku. Ultimately, he says, he brought this book out to the public so other people could who are going through similar situations could feel less alone.

References

Bird by Bird: Advice on Writing and Life by Anne Lammot

The 36 Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for People Who Have Alzheimer Disease, Other Dementias, and Memory Loss (A Johns Hopkins Press Health Book) by Nancy L. Mace and Peter V. Rabins

Patricia Smith

Brendan Constantine, Dementia My Darling

Ellen Maybe

Basho

Eric Morago, Editor of Moon Tide Press

Nikki Giovanni

By the Book (Now How to Be Fine) with Kristen Meisner and Jolenta Greenberg

The Art of Swedish Death-Cleaning How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter by Margareta Magnusson

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Xochitl-Julisa Bermejo is the daughter of Mexican immigrants and the author of Incantation: Love Poems for Battle Sites (Mouthfeel Press) and Posada: Offerings of Witness and Refuge (Sundress Publications). A former Steinbeck Fellow and Poets & Writers California Writers Exchange winner, she’s received residencies from Hedgebrook, Ragdale, Yefe Nof, Jentel, and National Parks Arts Foundation in partnership with Gettysburg National Military Park and Poetry Foundation. Her poem “Battlegrounds” was featured at Academy of American Poets’ Poem-a-Day, On Being’s Poetry Unbound, and the anthology, Poetry Unbound: 50 Poems to Open Your World (W.W. Norton). Her poetry and essays can be found at Acentos Review, Huizache, LA Review of Books, The Offing, [Pank], Santa Fe Writers Project, and other journals. She is the director of Women Who Submit. Inspired by her Chicana identity, she works to cultivate love and comfort in chaotic times.

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